"No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change."Lately I have been through so many obstacles and roller coaster rides in my life, I have realized life is what you make it! I was tired of being someone who I didn't want to be and trying to make everyone else happy before myself, and let me say this you cannot have a relationship with anyone else unless you are happy with yourself!
I learned a lot and went through so much in the last year of my life then most have happened in their lifetime, I believe my miscarriages are one of the worst and hardest thing I have went through in the last year, I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant, belly pictures, ultrasounds founding out the sex of the baby and just everything, then the heartbreak happened on my first miscarriage when I was seven weeks, I cried for weeks everyday and I still do from time to time especially when the due dates passed and are coming up! Not only having one was hard but the second one nearly tore me apart especially with everything going on when I found out, I was stressed & sick with food posioning when I missed my period then found out a week later after bleeding the baby never formed a yolk sac! I am still to this day scared that I won't be able to have kids and it freaks me out but I know God has something amazing planned out when it is time to start a family.
Another thing is LOVE. I never got to really fall in love, I never dated much and then when I was with my ex husband we had to learn to love each other we only dated a month or so when I found out I was pregnant then got married a month after, we never had a chance too, and we got married for the wrong reasons, something I wish I could take back and redo but I can't and don't regret it because it thought me a lot! I haven't really talked about why I left him, but it was the best decision I made yet, he made me feel as if I wasn't anyone and always put me down, I can honestly say I am over him, and have moved on and am very happy with the new man in my life who treats me like a princess! The way every girl should be treated. :)
LIFE & FRIENDSHIPS- well I don't have too many friends anymore, I kinda cut everyone out of my life for a reason! Everyone is so full of drama, backstabbing bitches, and/or all they wanna do is party and do drugs! Sorry not my thing anymore I use to drink like every night and my life was going downhill i slacked off at work just everything and not to mention, partying is expensive! All I did was drink, never any drugs, some of my ex-friends did drugs and wasted so much money on all that stuff, I don't see how, I rather buy some new clothes, go out to eat or go do something fun! But I cut those people out of my life bc a whole bunch of bullshit went down and I learned who I couldn't trust and booted them out! I am not going to lie I still drink every now and then but I don't go get trashed like I use too, I went out for the first time in a few weeks and 3 drinks later I was drunk and ready for bed, I am now a lightweight and cheap date (hehe) but back to the friendship part, I have a hard time finding people my own age that have got out of the party stage and are settling down and just focus on their futures! I guess I have grown up and matured a lot in the last few months and I am glad! My life is finally going where I want it too and I cant be any happier I am starting back school in May and I am actually excited to go back to school for once!
My secret too my new happy life is staying positive, letting the drama go, and to make myself happy :)
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. ~Winston Churchill
this one makes me laugh-
A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely. ~Roald Dahl
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